Assalamualaikum. Good morning.
" What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on? " - Gandalf from the The Hobbit
I am not well. Not physically but mentally. I feel like gonna jump out of my skin. I feel the loneliness. Oh yes, I am right now single. Just broken up with a girl that I thought I could commit but I can't. She just not for me. Her ways are not for me. Actually before that I've broken up with the perfect girl that I've been together since form 2. Last year, I felt the love wasn't sparked anymore. I felt like the fire burnt out. What is wrong with me? I dropped a dime and I feel miserable because I dropped it. I shot a hole through everything I loved. I burnt my own castle and I feel miserable. Why did I did that? Allah has mysterious ways of showing me the light. I still couldn't reach it. I need strength O' Allah. Everyday, my mind is drifting away. Everyday, I remorse about my love life. I told myself that I am free and I'm okay. Actually, I am not. I'm just not okay. I have a friend who is still single. He told me, " Redha, being single is just like being a lonely fish but remember the fish could just swim and find another opposite-sex fish or just stay put and blame itself for being lonely. " Wise man he is. His name is Muhammad Afiq bin Khasim. Well, now that I think about it. Maybe Allah has other plans for me. Maybe in University or work-life or even I'll meet the one someplace that I couldn't even expect. Allah is the best. Mysterious ways but still the best. I feel okay already. I am smiling. Seriously. Hahaha... I got to go. My days in College of Mara Kulim is near. My studies need to be improve. Assalamualaikum and good morning.
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