Redha's Journal

     Assalamualaikum. Good morning.       " What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on? " - Gandalf from the The Hobbit      I am not well. Not physically but mentally. I feel like gonna jump out of my skin. I feel the loneliness. Oh yes, I am right now single. Just broken up with a girl that I thought I could commit but I can't. She just not for me. Her ways are not for me. Actually before that I've broken up with the perfect girl that I've been together since form 2. Last year, I felt the love wasn't sparked anymore. I felt like the fire burnt out. What is wrong with me? I dropped a dime and I feel miserable because I dropped it. I shot a hole through everything I loved. I burnt my own castle and I feel miserable. Why did I did that? Allah has mysterious ways of showing me the light. I still couldn't reach it.

     Underneath the bed of skies, I could see stars gazing. The moment of living one night without the lights of the streets or the suburbs. One night where friendship turn to bond. One night where I realized Allah's creations are magnificent. The night where problem is a way to find peace. One night where I realized that we are all just nomads. One night where I realized imaginations don't concern ages. My head was on the sand at the beach. I could see clear skies full with dead stars. Yet we call them stars because of we could still see them. They aren't there anymore. Just like dreaming without working. There is no victory without plan and working.

     Assalamualaikum and good morning. Today I'm going to talk about our life. Life has no U-turn or a way to turn back. Everything is determined. Whether you like it or not. I realized it yesterday when I was showering. Most men find revelations in the bathroom. I realized that we could not turn back. We could only just look behind and feel the past. We cannot undo what we have done. What done is done. We cannot change it but we can change the future. Know our wrongs and try to prevent it from happening again in the future. I made a lot of mistakes in the past. A lot of mistakes. Countless mistakes. Yet the only thing I can do is do not let it happens again. Now I'm currently waiting for my friend to pick me up to go out. His name is Ahmad Hafidzuddin as I wrote before. I got to go. Wait for him downstairs. He just called me. He's here already. Bye and Assalamualaikum.

     Assalamualaikum to the Muslims and good morning to the non-Muslims. I want to confess that I pretty much wasted my time before this. I woke up at 2 p.m. and didn't feel human. I felt like a hole of desperation and waiting is at the bottom of heart. Right now I'm just waiting for my registration day into Kolej Mara Kulim. I wasted my time. I could have just study about geocentric and astrophysics but I kept doing wasteful stuffs like downloading movies and series. Playing the android game called Township. I don't what to do now. I'm writing this blog just in order to feel okay. We humans should not waste time because time don't just come back right at us. It keeps flowing until the end. Cherish your time and do or make up good stuff of it. Don't be like me and complain about yourself in your own blog about how much you wasted time. Just be a well managed human. I just heard my mom calling me from downstairs. I got to go. Assalamualaikum and good morning