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Past, Present, Future

     For past few weeks, I've been internal monologuing to myself about my life. About what I've accomplished, about how did I get here, about everything that's been happening in my life. It's a weird one. It's not a struggle, it's just a wonder. It's a guessing game. It's a poetic gesture although I have non of poetic traits. Everything in my daily life, I've been thinking about the past. How much fun it is in the past, living close to home, having a simple life, daily struggles, night drive, cafe hunting with my wife, saving up to buy furnitures instead of targeting for the big things. The only thing for me is that I know myself, I know that I'm always looking forward for something big. For something more than what I already have at that point. It's a healthy trait to have, to always challenging yourself but it's not a satisfaction that I could get because of nothing that I want, I get. I want to buy a house. I want to see my parents face up close. I want to see my siblings. I know that my wife also wants the same thing. To go back, to go back to where things were more simpler than this.

    If I look at my wife, I see our future, decent home in Malaysia, the layout of the house, the furnitures, the comic book collections, my figurines, her art area, her cooking station, the kitchen. Everytime I see all of these, I know that I had to cope of collecting money while working here. I can save up a lot more but I couldn't buy her and myself nice things. If I save up too little, we might be staying for lot more. I've done all the calculations, I've done all the maths, another two more years to look up to the future. For now, I'll just have to be still in the present. Just have to do enough here and now. Just have to be strong enough to get the future that I wanted.


" Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, but Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present. " - Master Oogway

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