Silence

    Hello.

    This post is mainly about my feeling. This is not a normal post where I post things that came to my mind and write this post blindly. This post is about me having a slight depressed moment. A few days back, exactly like two weeks back, my parents came to Ireland. I was so happy that they decided to come to Ireland just to visit me and my wife. It was great. They stayed in Ireland for a week. In the morning, I would go to work and couldn't to get back home to see my parents. The house was lively. My father would crack jokes (about me), me mum would walked in the kitchen and talked with us. Irfan and Siti would joined in and have a chat. The house was never that alive. It was great. I brought my parents around the city, brought them to the shopping centre near our house. Get to bring them to some of my favourite places to eat in Limerick (which is not a lot). At night, I would go into my mum's room and have a chat with her. Asking about my relatives back home. How are they doing sorts of stuff.

    Then, we went to England (again), we visited London (as usual) and we went around the coast of England, east area. Lancing, Worthing, Brighton and Eastbourne. It was good. It was beautiful. We visited the place where my father used to stay in the 60s or 70s, can't remember. He showed us his old house and we visited his old friend who still lives in Worthing. I could see the cheerful face on my father as we stroll around Worthing. He would tell us what's what back then. Like he could still remember down by his house, there used to be a small shop there called, Spar, and funny thing is that it is still there. They never close it down. Then, after the trip around the coast, we went to London to visit a few places like Cutty Sark and all that stuff. I brought my wife around the central London area, Trafalgar Square, Westminster Abbey, and London's Eye. Unfortunately, we got there a little bit late and it closed at the time.

    26th September, me and my wife, we came back to Ireland because of work on the next day. Once we arrived at the house, it was quiet. Just silence. Empty.

    Although it's a bit tiring when my parents came to Ireland because we had to share the bathroom, me and my wife had to plan out what to do, help my parents with the laundry, tidy up the house a bit after a meal or anything, but it was worth it. I could see my parents' faces up close rather than using the Whatsapp video call. Sometimes, I just still feel although I'm older now but I'm still their baby boy. I'm the youngest in my family. Sometimes, I look tough or staying strong for me and my wife's sake but I still miss my family. I know my wife miss her family as well and that's why I got to stay strong. If I'm weak, who's gonna be strong for me. You get what I mean?

    I bought loads of stuff and do loads of stuff just to get escape my feeling of sadness or missing my family. Play games, read comic books, socializing, watching tv series, I even thought of trying stream my games back but I'm too tired, you know? I'm got responsibilities now. Even much bigger responsibilities because we're far away from everything. I need to sort my shit out, you get me? I need to do right by my wife, my family, my future, and most importantly myself. Maybe, just maybe, I need to be more open about this. The thing is, I don't like to talk about my feelings. Tried to run away from these things but my wife knows me. She knows what's up. I'll just suppress this as long as I could and these things they'll go away eventually, I don't know. Maybe.

    I know one thing. I need to sort my shit out. I'll do that.